Loxton’s Time-Travel Gift Certificates

For his birthday this year his family got him a wonderful gift

A time-travel gift certificate

They’re all the rage

As he melted into the bath,

With just the steam, pleasant dripping sounds and his thoughts for company

He contemplated the ageing process

Thirty-Five, just a number

But it swam at him gloomily

How could he be Thirty-Five?

From 12 to now in a blinking of an eye

Still the same in so many ways, excited by Christmas and

Thrilled at the release of Star Wars Episode XVIII

In other ways all he felt was uncertainty and fear

What must it be like to be Sixty-Five?

A brilliant idea occured to him as he dwelt in the tub

There’s only one way to find out his future

Use the certificate and ask the only man who knows.

So he gets out of the bath, dries off and pulls on his Superman pyjamas and monster feet slippers

With trembling anticipation he picks up the card containing the certificate

“LOXTON’S TIME-TRAVEL GIFT CERTIFICATE

ONE DAY PASS – RETURN TRAVEL INCLUDED*

 

*PLEASE NOTE LOXTON LTD DOES NOT TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY HISTORICAL EVENTS ALTERED AND THE USE OF THIS PASS IN NO WAYS REFLECTS LOXTON’S ENDORSEMENT OF THE USE OF TIME TRAVEL”

 

He was delighted and choked up with emotion

When they gave him this present, so magnificent

The kids had outdone themselves this year

He could feel its significance

He had always wanted to try time-travel

Ever since he saw that film,

You know the one?

That film with the guy from the other thing

A time-travel gift certificate

He smiled to himself

Time travel had become so much more affordable these days

All he had to do to activate it was type in the code

So that’s what he did

And the portal opened, swirling lights before him

But before he stepped through the shimmering window in time

He pondered his mood of the last Four months

His every action feeling perfunctory

Being miserable and down in the dumps

What would he learn from his own future self?

He hoped for happy retirement

Holidays in the sun

He couldn’t envision it the way that life had become

His Dad was happy in his retirement days

Travelling about in his camper van

Seeing things he’d always wanted, a whole new life stretching out in front of him

Is what he had often heard him say

Dad was happy, so maybe he could be too

So he set the date and location

And stepped through the time-travelling doorway

And what did he see?

His own gravestone

Dead at 43

©John de Gruyther 2014