Doubt

Doubt by John de Gruyther

Doubt

I had my doubts

I dream of doubt

It is in my shadow that truly is the shade

What really lurks beneath that innocuous façade

The veneer is worn away, I see skulls and atrocity behind your spotless grin


Still I dreamed of doubt


Whilst you glimmer in light are you some despotic apothecary

This is no bureaucratic stipulation or sinister cabal

but flesh and blood and humanity

Compassion up in smoke


But still I dream in doubt


Is it right to be two ways

a smile and polite small talk at day

but at night, at night fevers and nightmares conspire


To leave me with my doubt


Far simpler to grin and bear it

Pretend that it’s not there

Sometimes you must stand to the side of right

even if you are alone


Forestall the knowledge of my doubt


Lost in a forest, does power mean destruction

Information has no discrimination it talks to all

the flow constant but rarely accurate

it harbours the criminals of intellect

hijacking reason, held hostage by rage


But still I dreamed of my doubt


Pure and virtuous but that’s all made up

the only truth your lies

Sinewy muscle toned for despair

dark corridors you mentioned in tirades against reason


My doubt is only my shock in disguise


By John de Gruyther
©John de Gruyther 2013