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Selfish

Self-Pity

That’s me today

Can’t concentrate

On anything

Apart from gradual decay

No oil in the engine

Feeling dry

Trying to encounter

Some grand design

Thoughts dwell where they should not

“Empty”

“Vacant”

Let’s give it a shot

Can’t concentrate on anything

I can hear

The worms!!

The ground is breaking and shaking

Beneath me

I can see the voices

“Returning”

“Taunting”

Self-deceiving

Always misleading

A confused tumble of forgotten denials

I’m just doing it for the money

Like everybody else

Selling my body

So I’m not left out

Outside with the gold

Glazed interest

No life behind the eyes

Songs, traffic and corruption

Cigarettes and alibis

I can still see the box

Too heavy to carry

“Heavy”

“Failure”

Stumbling and tripping

To the sounds of odd music

Selfish

Self-Pity

That’s you

Intrinsic in all your concealed behaviour

I have seen light

And experienced faith

An essence ineffable

In a shadow’s delight

Β©John de Gruyther 2013

5 thoughts on “Some Grand Design

  1. This is raw powerful stuff. Was wondering how it would be if you changed it to the third person…? just an idea and probably not what you wanted! πŸ™‚

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    • Thanks Rachael, I’m experimenting with telling stories via characters in poems, so that’s a really interesting suggestion! Some of it is drawn from me, but I like playing with the perception that a poem is always from the authors perspective! So I’m trying to get different voices within the same piece, if that makes sense? So your suggestion is an excellent one and is something I might play with for the sequel πŸ™‚ Thanks for the suggestion, I will play around and let you know the results πŸ™‚

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