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So it turns out that Facebook and Google have been giving our private data to the intelligence services. I find it hard to believe that two such evil corporations hell bent on making piles and piles of money would do such a thing! I guess the biggest surprise is that anyone is shocked by this. With last year’s revelation that a certain large supermarket chain was selling our information to sales companies, and making a tidy profit at the same time, what occurs to me is that maybe our intelligence agencies are missing a trick. I think it is only a matter of time before they start profiling terrorists based on their shopping habits. It is surely obvious that someone harbors subversive tendencies if they buy Marmite.

The War On Yoghurt

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So how many packets of crunchy nut cornflakes doth a terrorist make? And what does a person’s choice of groceries tell us about their desire to overthrow the government? According to a recent article in the The Sun “News”paper, Anjem Choudary loves nothing more than a Muller corner, toffee hoops being his flavour of choice. What a psycho, everyone knows the cherry corners are the best!

I mean I’m really starting to doubt my own allegiances as I have at least 12 packets of cornflakes stashed under my mattress and don’t even start me on how many packets of fig rolls I have hidden in “safe places” throughout my house. What does it all mean? For fuck’s sake, I bought some Greek yoghurt the other day so surely that means I am a sympathiser of the Greek Communist Party. You might as well put me on a one way flight to a “black site” right now.  Is Prism watching me now? Does the mere act of typing Prism get me blacklisted? Where will the madness end? No good can come from claiming anymore clubcard points, not now “THEY” are monitoring my consumption of Macaroons. How could I have been so stupid, fucking Macaroons for fuck’s sake!!

I’m going to have to lay low for a couple of weeks while all this blows over and if you don’t hear from me for a while, you will know what has happened.

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