Delayed Perspective
Hey folks,
Welcome to my new semi-regular series about Film and TV and other random things I tenuously argue are related to the subject. The mission of Delayed Perspective is a self-defeating attempt to share with you my thoughts on the films and tv shows that have been out for a while and I have only just caught onto or caught up with.
Sometimes I will take a sideways look at a subject or sometimes I might do a straight up review, you never know, stranger things have happened.
Anyway, sit back and enjoy my first delayed perspective; ladies, gentleman and Michael Douglas fans, I give you The Falling Down Scale;
Do Not Get Out Of That Car Michael
‘The Falling Down Scale’ is a method in which you can gauge your frustration levels in any given situation. Be it at work or in relationship situations, this scale can be used to see how close to breaking point you are. The scale is based upon a simple principle the Michael Douglas movie ‘Falling Down’ and it works as follows;
In your car humming along with the radio = You are chilled everything is fine.
The traffic sound is slightly irritating = You have had a bad nights sleep but a coffee will soon sort you out.
The heat is too much and you wish that fly would f****** quit its noise = You had an argument with your family last night or this morning but it will probably be fine later – A day in the office away from them will probably be a good thing.
F*#* that last bit, you were in the right and you are really p****d off, you are thinking about opening the car door = You are quite angry to be honest with you.
You have left the vehicle = You are full of seething rage against the system, you are underpaid and underappreciated. You might just go on a holiday and never come back.
You get into an argument with a manager at a fast food restaurant over their decision to switch to the lunch menu, denying you your breakfast. You are seriously considering visiting ‘the pier’ = You have flipped your tiny little mind and you should probably take some medication and take a long lie down in a dark stationery cupboard.
So there you have it; ‘The Falling Down Scale’. As a rule of thumb as long as you can stay inside the car you are ok. You may be having a bad day but things could be a lot worse. Anything after leaving the vehicle, you need a holiday and to do some intensive chilling out and meditation.
On a serious note, whenever I am annoyed and think of this amusing scale (devised with a friend whilst I was staying in the States) it reminds me not to take life quite so seriously.
Next On Delayed Perspective
The Howling by Joe Dante..
What if you stay in the car and deliberately plow into a gaggle of nuns? Where does that put you on the scale?
Are you sure that you and Sena have the appropriate credentials to be devising vehicular-based diagnostic tests for psychosis?
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Sena and I qualified at the Vermont School of Outlandish Statements so I think we are in a good position to offer advice. As for the nuns, I suggest a week’s yoga and listening to the relaxing sounds of Enya..
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Sena and I qualified at the Vermont School of Outlandish Statements so I think we are in a good position to offer advice. As for the nuns, I suggest a week’s yoga and listening to the relaxing sounds of Enya..
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