Captain of the Team

Are you a leader or a follower?

As a younger person I was mildly obsessed with being the captain of my football team. I was never chosen, words like attitude and temperament were some of the reasons mentioned.

Yet, I was committed, washed the shirts, turned up every week to train rain or shine (not everyone did), helped put the nets up and take them down, ran the line when subbed, won clubman of the year, but despite all this deemed not captain material.

I think this example is useful in illustrating what my views of leadership were versus what they are now. I thought a captain was in charge, made all the decisions, shouted at people (to help them of course), got to wear a cool armband, was respected by his peers (even the bullies), and was strong physically and tough by “telling it like it is.” These are the things I thought were required in a leader, not necessarily the attributes I possessed.

And I think these are certainly some of the qualities of a certain type of leadership (especially the cool armband bit). And I can see that sports leadership requires a sort of performative effort – we can see they are the captain based on the amount of mud on their knees – however leaders come in all shapes and sizes.

A good leader knows when to follow, knows how to say the difficult thing when needed, is able to offer challenge (to themselves and others), and knows when to let someone make a mistake so they can learn. Leading is being prepared to show vulnerability and being aware of how our emotions impact us and others.

I think Brene Brown speaks to the issue of leadership and vulnerability in a helpful way:

“Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It’s having the courage to show up, fully engage, and be seen when you can’t control the outcome. The willingness and ability to rumble with vulnerability is the foundational skill of courage-building. Without this core skill, the other three skill sets are impossible to put into practice. Consider this carefully: Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability.”

I don’t think there are leaders and followers, we are all capable of showing leadership, and don’t need to wear an armband (although they are cool still) or have fancy job titles to demonstrate it.

So, I’m neither leader nor follower, but I try to lead in a way that is aligned to my values and I hope by modelling these values people communicate with me in a respectful and relational way.